As Dark as Midnight

What is happening? 

Golfball-sized eyeballs and sticky handprints, glued to the glass.

Waiting.

Waiting for truth to unfold, facts to emerge, and solid, concrete answers to lingering, ever-growing questions, like tiny beads of a mile-long necklace.

I am reminded of an aquarium.

Just standing, in awe of nature, in all of its forms.

Some of us shocked, some of us at a complete standstill.

Just watching from the other side of the glass.

I remember visiting the Chattanooga aquarium with a busload of high school students from Stratford out of East Nashville, back when bumpy roads and old, forgotten houses were still its neighbor.

Terrified I was going to lose one of the eight girls in my group,
I could hardly enjoy it.

I was constantly counting heads and looking over my shoulder like I was checking my blind spot, about to change lanes.

The hallways and handrails were as dark as midnight.

I remember a few weeks ago when Brandon and I drove to North Carolina overnight in the snow.

Terrified I was going to wreck the car and slip and slide all the way down the mountain, I could hardly enjoy it.

Threatening roads, hard-to-see cars, my lack of experience… and this time, the backdrop to our “fairytale snow” was as dark as midnight.

And this?

Well, this is completely new territory for me.

Staying home, not teaching yoga, not visiting schools and the Detention Center…

Some times, more than other times, robotically scrolling through Facebook and Instagram in search of… 

Something.

I can hardly enjoy it.