Cutesy Go-Getter Smiles

What matters now?

Cheez-Its and foam rollers.

A boyfriend turned husband.

A ring on my finger,

When I’m not too scared to wear it. 

A glass of wine on a Monday.

A workout video found on YouTube, taught by 3 soccer moms all wearing blue and cutesy go-getter smiles. 

A hilarious coworker who is quick to laugh at emails and intercom announcements and keeps me connected when I can count on one hand the number of friends I have in this new town, this new beginning. 

Panting my nails, slowly.

And then picking at the paint during long, sometimes pointless meetings, like a child picks at glue.

Cleaning out the fridge,

Taking out the trash.

Remembering to buy new garbage bags.

Why do I always forget to buy new garbage bags?

A wave and a smile from my 30-something neighbor, a short hopeful exchange that promises a friendship and a walk, perhaps when her four kids are at Grandma’s.

Remembering to wash my mask, to bring my mask to work, or I can’t enter the building.

Seeing new shades of red and blue on our new TV that we bought at too-crowded-for-a-pandemic Costco right after we ate 2 slices of pizza standing up.

What matters now is pink and yellow unicorn slippers bought at CVS.

Watching the Bachelorette with Lucy,

“Keeping it cool” with my dad and not lingering on his preaching.

What matters now is improving my handwriting and reading the Alicia Keys’ memoir,

Cooking winter squash and sitting at the fire.

Protecting Jim and Pam’s love, no matter what the cost.

What matters now is this. 
All of it.